Before I get started, I’d like to state one important thing. Comments left by people who use fake email addresses will be deleted. I’ve had a LOT of bullshit left here by people with fake email addresses. If you want to share your opinion, disagree with mine, whatever, but you don’t have the balls to use your correct contact information so that I can reply to you (I do reply to people by email often), either don’t bother or expect your comment to be removed.

This is long, I know. But please read it. If you get to the end of this blog entry you will have a better understanding of things that affect my life and cause me to be the militant invisible-disability activist that I am. And I would appreciate it, a lot.

I’ve just seen something that made my blood boil. In fact, my blood continues to boil as I write this. It is Reverse-Therapy.com, a ‘cure’ for ME/CFS. I’m going to quote parts of the website so that it makes sense when I argue with them, but if you want to read the whole revolting thing, click on the link back there and keep a bucket handy in case you need to vomit. Which you probably will.

Apparently, “Reverse therapy is an educational process which teaches people how to eliminate symptoms by understanding and acting on ‘the message of the symptom’ – what Bodymind is trying to ’say’ through the symptoms in order to warn, guide and protect the individual.” The wonderful doctor (who I can only assume got his qualification from the bottom of a cereal box) says that “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia are triggered by the Hypothalamus overworking the Pituitary and Adrenal Glands, This is why Reverse Therapists refer to these conditions as ‘HPA Disorder’ – referring to the Hypothalamus-Pituitary-Adrenal axis.”

Ok, so first flaw in the logic. Dysfunction of the hypothalamus is a symptom of ME/CFS, not a cause (and IF research ever exists to suggest that it does have ’cause of condition’ status, it sure as hell isn’t caused by emotional blockages in the mind as reverse therapy claims). So this ‘reverse therapist’ (well done, make up a type of therapy and then make up a title for yourself to legitimise it) is actually basing his treatment on one symptom of an extremely complex physical condition. He actually redefines ME/CFS as ‘HPA disorder’…can we all start redefining illnesses to suit our own purpose? Cause if we can, I’d like to redefine ME as ‘lack of chocolate disorder’ and create my own therapy for it that revolves around eating chocolate and selling chocolate to other people who haven’t been under the supervision of a decent medical professional who took the time to explain their illness and who haven’t done any of their own research. Way to go, indoctrinate the impressionable and vulnerable. That’s what the world needs. He goes on to helpfully explain that

“Bodymind notices that the person is emotionally vulnerable in some way and sends emotions of various kinds to signal that action is required. This could involve taking more time out for oneself, saying ‘No’ to unreasonable demands, speaking up about personal needs, or doing more things to boost enjoyment and confidence.”

Yes dear, and learning to say ‘no’ to unreasonable demands will cure cancer too. Isn’t the world great? All we need to do is speak up about our personal needs and we will be miraculously cured of our physical ailments. Praise be! The most painful bit to read is this.

“But when Headmind interferes with this natural cycle by coming up with worries, predictions of disaster, or thinking that attention to emotional needs is ‘bad’ or ’selfish’ then the person becomes trapped. Bodymind notices that the person is in danger of emotional overload and so it uses the Hypothalamus to switch on an alarm response that produces the symptoms.”

And then,

“Headmind notices that symptoms are getting worse so it triggers an Anxiety response that leads the person to conclude that there is nothing they can do about the symptoms.”

Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently my headmind is triggering an anxiety response which is leading me to conclude that there is nothing I can do about my symptoms. Ummm…not quite, asshole. When I feel tired and worn out, I can rest or meditate. When I am in pain I can do stretches that ease my pain, or (god forbid!) take a couple of pain killers so that I can continue with the things I need to do. When I feel stressed (yes, anxious!) I can sit down, have a cup of tea, get my thoughts in order and remind myself that things aren’t as bad as they seem right now and I just need to take some time to chill out and deal with what’s going on. Does that sound like a conclusion that there is nothing I can do about my symptoms? No. But luckily,

“Reverse Therapy reverses symptoms by:

• Getting the person to see that Headmind is keeping them trapped in Anxiety and Illness

• Raising the client’s awareness of Bodymind and re-connecting to their emotional needs

• Understanding and acting on ‘the message of the symptom’

• Engaging in activities that boost confidence and happiness

• Keeping a record of situations in which symptoms increase so that further work can be carried out on protecting the client in those situation.”

First of all, I am not ‘trapped’ in anxiety and illness. I have an illness which means I have to make adjustments to my life, but it absolutely does not trap me. I am perfectly connected to my emotional needs, thank you very much. The main one is ‘I need to NOT be made fuming mad by wankers who tell me that I am basically making/keeping myself sick’. As soon as I stopped reading Reverse-Therapy.com, that emotional need was met. It’s a fucking miracle! I fully understand the message of my symptoms. My back hurts. It’s telling me “You’ve over-done it today, you need to do some back stretches, sit comfortably and rest until it hurts less, then take it easy for the next couple of days”. And as for boosting confidence and happiness…living my life does that. I curl up on the couch with my husband and watch a movie, I hang out at a friend’s house, I take photographs, I go to a meeting to discuss a project I’m working on and guess what? I feel confident and happy! If I repeatedly tell myself that my illness is my fault, that it’s caused by a lack of understanding of myself, my body and my mind and I am deciding to remain sick then I DON’T feel confident and happy. See how this is working out?

What Mr Reverse Therapist is saying, shortened for ease of reading, is that he can help people who ARE trapped in a cycle of self-blame and self-inflicted misery, people who DO languish in a sick-role, to realise that they can, to a certain extent, control their body and their mind. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s true – while we can’t all fix things that go wrong with our body, we can learn to adjust and deal with these things in ways which make us happier and make our lives easier. I read some testimonials written for this guy and I’m willing to bet rather a lot of money (ok, I don’t have any money…I’m willing to bet some valued possessions) that they were written by people who, prior to their reverse therapy experience, had been the kind of people who sit around feeling sorry for themselves and rot in a pit of ‘poor me, I’m so sick, I can’t do anything’.

Most people who I’ve met, online and offline, who have or have had ME/CFS are extremely strong, determined, ambitious, resilient, optimistic people who have fought through useless doctors, useless specialists, useless medical insurance companies and a society full of people who either don’t understand or choose not to understand their condition. I have NEVER spoken to someone with ME/CFS who isn’t in touch with their mind or their body – this condition FORCES you to gain a deeper understanding of yourself because it’s the only way you can make the necessary adjustments to your life and keep on living.

Yes, there are people out there who DO fall into malaise and depression because they lack understanding of themselves and their life, who self-diagnose and convince themselves they have various medical conditions so that they can sit back and make excuses. People who blow a period of tiredness, an extended common cold, a slight backache, out of all proportion because they’re SICK, DAMMIT and want some attention. I have yet to meet an ME/CFS patient who falls into that category. But I’m sure if there are any, they would benefit very well from Reverse Therapy.

ME/CFS is NOT a psychological condition any more than cancer or hepatitis are. Yes, there are a range of ways in which symptoms can be eased or temporarily relieved and of course this involves a certain amount of thought, but that doesn’t mean that our feelings cause our illnesses. Perhaps instead of pandering to rich narcissistic hypochondriacs, Mr Reverse Therapy should go and write for Cosmopolitan and invent imaginary syndromes based on people’s feelings towards their boss or boyfriend or cat and the size of their thighs (or whatever the fuck it is the qualified professionals who work for that magazine do). If you’ll excuse me, I have clients to call, photographs to take, a car to tax, a husband to hug, two cats to feed and a very messy head of hair to wash. I’d better go and get in touch with my Headmind and Hypothalamus to make sure I can cope with all that, poor little self-inflictedly sick person that I am.

Or maybe I should take, ohhhh..about ten minutes to invent a type of therapy which I can sell to the vulnerable and scared and make myself a few million pounds. I could even get people to pay to learn how to do this therapy and patronise the unwell in their own part of the world. I bet if I focused this therapy around an illness that’s completely physical but still very misunderstood and convinced people to believe that it’s all in their mind I could make LOADS of money. Shit, someone beat me to it…

EDIT: Guess what? The dude isn’t a medical doctor. He has a doctorate in psychology which means he’s spent the last few years learning about what other psychologists have done and thought for the last hundred years, and his ‘therapy’ has no actual basis in science or medical fact. He devised this ‘therapy’ pretty much as soon as he graduated…with banknotes flickering across his eyes, no doubt. It scares me that shit like this is some people’s ONLY encounter with information about ME/CFS, and this is what they make their judgements on. To ‘Dr’ Asshole and those who believe his lies – fuck you. No seriously. FUCK YOU. You are an insidious creeping evil and your attitude causes more pain or suffering than any symptom I have ever experienced. On behalf of all ME/CFS patients who have ever had to deal with shit-for-brains money-grabbing cunts like you, F-U-C-K Y-O-U.