After being without laptop for a couple of weeks, I’m finally back online properly! My cat pissed on the magsafe end of my macbook charger a while back. I thought I’d cleaned it completely, but then when I plugged it in, it got really hot and the wires fried. The laptop itself was fine. So I ordered a replacement from eBay which worked great for about 24 hours until it exploded. I sent it back and got a refund, then went and bought yet another replacement charger today. I hate paying full retail price for electronics but in this case I was happy to – I have a receipt, so if anything else blows up at least I can take it back to the shop without having to dick around with eBay sellers.

As much as I’ve missed online-ness over the last couple of weeks, it was kind of therapeutic not to spend so many hours in front of a computer screen. D and I were sharing one computer and he needed it for work, so I went on pretty much just to check emails and do essential work stuff. It was like cold turkey for net addiction, which was pretty good for me, I think. I read more, watched more movies, talked more on the phone and watched all four seasons of Entourage (lust!) and coped rather well without constant internet access. That said, I’m glad to be back.

I still haven’t worked up the nerve to go to the doctor. The really good practice that had been recommended to me isn’t even putting people on a waiting list til the end of the year so I’d have to go back to the place I’m registered with. This is freaking me out cause I don’t want to have to deal with the asshole I saw last time, the guy who told me to buy paracetamol when I explained to him that I was in constant agony which stopped me from sleeping and affected just about every area of my life. He KNEW I have M.E. so this wasn’t just some random injury or one-off occurrence, but then doctors seem to be like that…if you have something they can’t cure, you’re supposed to give up on wanting a fulfilling life.

I think I’m going to have to go back there though, as much as I don’t want to. I guess there’s a chance I won’t end up seeing that guy cause there are other docs at the practice. I just can’t deal with having to talk about everything to anyone right now. I’m getting severely pissed off with the pain cause even when other stuff is manageable, the pain isn’t. I don’t know how to express to a doctor that I’m not one of those people with a low pain threshold who freaks out at the slightest discomfort. I’m the opposite of that. But no matter how much I try to explain it or how I explain the way my life is being affected etc, I still can’t seem to get my point across in a way that a doctor can grasp. Ugh. I’ve been trying not to think about this lately, and here I am thinking about it again.

At least I can use my computer again though. That’s cool