Open Google. Search for ‘8 inches of deep love’. What’s the first result? Is it RockstarVanity.com? Or maybe this entry now, I might’ve fucked it up…

How do I know this? I was looking at my stats for RSVcom and noticed ‘8 inches of deep love’ in the search terms people had used to find it. So I tried it, and yes, my portfolio site is indeed the top result. I’m sure that person was disappointed with what they found.

The search terms people use to arrive at Momentary Solutions are even better. With such gems as ‘bulimia sales career’ and a worrying amount of searches for ‘cunt’, ‘in your endo’ and ‘girls in gasmasks’ (and bizarrely, ‘laptop cover’) it makes me worry slightly.

Best search term of recent weeks? Definitely ‘pussy fever sex’.

Now go and search for ’shortage of gas masks in israel’.

Oh my god.